Your Comment on How Can We Help One Another During the Coronavirus Outbreak?

The New York Times published me in their Comment section and I would like to share with you my suggestions. I hope they will help you in this time of confusion and uncertainty. We will all get through this most precious ones. Do not be sad. Keep Love and Joy in your heart. Help and love one another. The best thing you can do for you and your loved ones is staying home. That will save lives.

Your comment has been approved! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with The New York Times community. Pama L | Alabama What about riding bikes or reading books? When we were kids we used to have great imaginations. I’m not sure kids today have that. What about hiking in the mountains? Taking walks in the neighborhood. What about taking drives out in the country? Are all these things taboo now? What about doing some crafts and painting on canvas. Being creative for children and teenagers? Making things? Find out who’s birthdays are coming up and make them something they would cherish the rest of their lives. How about writing a letter to a cousin, aunt or uncle, or grandparent or do you have a book inside you you have thought about writing and never have sat down and started it? I have a 14-year-old grandson who is a great writer. I am a grandparent and I know I would love to get a letter from them. I think young people could entertain themselves if they would just let their imagination flow. View your comment If you’re having trouble viewing your comment, please copy and paste this link in your browser: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/learning/how-can-we-help-one-another-during-the-coronavirus-outbreak.html#commentsContainer&permid=105970277:105970277

Grover Howard Cook

Meeting My Father For The First Time At The Age Of 71!

Meeting My Father For The First Time At The Age Of 71! Have you ever heard of such a thing? I was shocked. I believed the story my mother told me as a child. How this came about is that I signed up on Ancestry.com. I did the DNA test. My mother married a man named Joseph John Paige in 1947, in Yuma Arizona. She was living in Imperial Valley at the time. He had just gotten out of the Army after serving an 8-year run.  They fell in love. Joseph asked her to marry him. I have their marriage license.

He picked out a wedding ring in a shop that was owned by a woman who happened to be one of my mother’s best friends in Holtville, California. Unfortunately the check he wrote bounced. Of course, this causes quite a ruckus and my mother felt she had no choice but to file charges against her husband Joseph John Paige and have him arrested and prosecuted. He was guilty sent to San Quinten where he served a year and one-half sentence to make a long story short. They had only been married a grand total of six weeks.

In the meantime, she became pregnant and moved to Bakersfield so that her mother, my grandmother, could help with child care so she could work to help care for me. She wrote to Joseph informing him of being a father. When he was released he came to Bakersfield, picked me up for a day, bought me gifts, dropped me back off, and never heard from him again. I was one year old. Mother married a man named Edwin Lewis Lyons, who shortly afterward, I was two, adopted me as his own. When I was 31, I wrote the Social Security office to look Joseph up. I wanted to know more about his background because my mother didn’t know very much. He was thrilled I wanted to know him. He told me a few things about himself and his background. We met a few times. He followed me back here to Alabama before he died and stayed about three weeks. He said he wanted to make sure I was going to be alright. He never even knew he wasn’t my father. This is laying the groundwork of what I am about to tell you. I thought Joseph John Paige was my father. He is on my original birth certificate. I honestly think my mother thought he was my father. Will explain further down the road. I have a friend who works for Ancestry.com and she says there are lots of stories out there just like mine. This has been quite a shocker to me. I hope you enjoy this. Or find it interesting.

Applying For Ancestry.com DNA TEST!

I applied for the Ancestry.com DNA test in 2006 to learn more about my background. I was more interested in my Ancestry background than my family matches and really didn’t pay much attention to the possibility of the relatives I had out there. I did meet a first cousin on my mother’s side that I became friends with for a while. I found out my great grandfather ran with Jessie James. He changed his name to hide from the law. That is why there is no record of him. You can’t trace him. I thought that was very interesting. That made my grandmother un traceable also since she carried her mother’s maiden name instead of her father’s name. No one knows what his name is. That I can find right now anyway.  A young woman contacted me on Facebook and told me she thinks her grandfather is my half brother. He had all these Cook people pop up in his DNA. I started looking at my DNA and I saw that there were quite a few Cook people in mine. Surely there was a mistake. My father is Paige. I told the young woman that had to be a mistake because my father is a Paige, not a Cook. As time went by we sort of went back and forth about this. Another woman who was doing her DNA also had the same thing. She said she was my half-sister. She discovered her father, she didn’t know, neither did this young woman’s grandfather, that her father was this Cook man. We started talking back and forth for about a year. These people pretty much discovered they were related. One of the women flew back and met our half brother and his family. She finally got her mother to admit that she had an affair with this Cook man and that was how she was conceived. She discovered how our half brother was conceived and put up for adoption. Me being the cynic of the group, my half-sister wouldn’t give up on me, wanted to meet me, she flew out here to Alabama from Texas recently to meet me. While she was getting ready to fly out here I decided to find a lab here in my city that did DNA test for siblings and have it here when she got here. I felt this woman and I was related but not sisters. I found a lab and had the test overnighted to my house. It was waiting for her when she arrived. She spent five days with us. We had a blast. We took the test and got it right back in the mail. The results came back the following Thursday. Guess what we discovered. We are 99.7 % of half-siblings. I was totally thrown for a loop. I’m still pretty shocked.

This is what I believe happened. My mother was so distraught of what happened with Joseph, that she needed consoling she hooked up with a one night stand with Howard. It was so close to sleeping with her husband Joseph that she thought he was my father. Howard was a preacher doing circuit tent preaching and was used to consoling wayward woman and just happen to get my mother at her worst time. I honestly believe she thought Joseph was my father. So did I.

Where To Go From Here!

Where to go from here, that is the question. I guess I will just keep searching and finding more siblings out there. I was told by a nice I found who knew her grandfather that he liked hooking up with young women, marrying them and having children and not divorcing them. Who knows how many of us are out there. In case you are one of us, his name is Grover Howard Cook. He was born on April 27, 1905, in BlueRidge, Fannin County, Georgia, USA. Feel free to contact me. He was a handsome man. He died early of heart decease. 59. His oldest son died in his 40’s. I believe his father also died of the same condition. I am hoping to live a long life. I am 71 right now.

Encounter With An Angel While Hiking:

A Cross Found On A Trail While Hiking!

A few weeks ago my partner and I were hiking on Monte Sano, which we do quite often. On this path, we came across where someone had taken the time out to put together this nice cross made out of sticks and tied together propped up by large stones near this nice tree with moss. Down aways, someone tied a ribbon on a branch. I got this feeling that we were being watched by beings not so nice. As we walked down the path Jesus was whispering in my ear to stop on the way back at the cross, hold hands with Sue and pray at the cross.

We reached a fork in the road. There was a large boulder there that we stopped and rested on before we started back on the path. As we caught our breath we decided to start back. As we started back down the trail a very tall man approached us. He must have been at least six foot four inches tall, very blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. First, he approached Sue and said hello, then he approached me and said hello looking directly into our eyes with a sparkle. As he continued down the path he broke off what looked like a dowsing rod and whipped back and forth the path like he was clearing it for us as we moved down the path rather swiftly. Back and forth, back and forth, using a very distinct rhythm. As we were following behind him, knowing all along he was an Angel, protecting us from whatever was out there in the forest, I could feel something out there, something was telling me not to let Sue pass me or get up beside me, so I kept watching behind me making sure she wasn’t close to me. Also watching for the cross. Never see the cross and the next thing we knew, we were back at the road and the blonde tall man was gone and we were back at the road we started out on. The photos are taken on that very hike so you can get an idea of where we are. Beautiful.

Healing Thoughts For You!!!

I don’t know about you but I need hugs from my family and friends. Life has a way of knocking you down now and then and a nice hug from family and friends will bring you right out of your depression and put you on the right path the Angels want you to be on. I do not know what I would have done without the protection of the Angels. They are always here for me. It’s so comforting to know they are holding me up with I feel sad. Which isn’t too often. The Angels have gifted me after all my struggles and tribulations through the years. I feel so happy and content in this part of my life and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. I hope you have the best day ever. Life is too short to waste it. Love life and embrace it with all you have. Love others and do to them as you want things done to you. Send love everywhere. Tell your family and friends you love them all the time. Hug them when you have the chance. Keep them close. Be kind to everyone. Send nothing but love out to the Universe and it will come back at you tenfold. Thank God every day for the blessings she/he is giving you each and every day. Love life and be happy. You deserve it. You have earned it. Let yourself go and embrace the love surrounding you. Don’t be afraid. Enjoy Life!!!

My Latest Work!!!

Since my partner Justine Shrider became ill the Angels have not requested a painting for anyone until this past August. I thought I would share it with you. I hope you enjoy it.

At Peace!!!

I am going into my 5th month since Justine passed in November. I seem to be at peace with my situation and trying to move on and have a life. I seem to want to keep busy all the time. Doing this and doing that.

I think the greatest thing I am doing for myself that is making me feel at peace,  is being a caregiver to a sweet little 88 year old woman who has dementia. She is a hoot and we get along great. We have many of the same interests. I have only been doing this a month, but taking care of her a few hours a day has changed my life and has given me peace within in some strange way.

Caregiver:

In many of my past lives I have been a caregiver in one form or another. This must be my calling in life. I have been a caregiver to three of my partners who passed from cancer. That is 44 years of my life being with anther person who at the end needed care giving. I am not a Christian by any means, but I am very spiritual and totally believe in God and know that there is a place to go beyond death. I am AT PEACE!

I think everyone needs to be at peace with their lives at one point. Sometimes it takes allot of living to be at peace with yourself. It took me a life time of many lessons to get to this point. In August I will be 70 and it has taken me this long to be at peace with myself and my life. We all have our lessons to learn in our life span. I hope that you can see what you have accomplished in your life time and the changes that has taken place for you.

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Cancer Won Once More!

Cancer won once more. On November 19, 2017 I lost my partner, Justine Shrider, to cancer.

She fought for a little over two years before she finally stepped back to her cancer and allowed her cancer to take over and bring her to her final destination. Home!

Cancer Won Once More!

We had 11 wonderful years together. The last two were spent fighting the cancer that was trying to take Justine’s life.

Let’s be honest, loosing your loved one to cancer is a horrific loss and a horrible thing to have to go through, but a welcome one when finally the loved one who is suffering is finally put to rest. The battle is over.

There is a relief that is unexplained. The caregiver, watches their loved one from day to day, feeling helpless to take the problem away, until that person takes their last breath. The battle is finally over.

Cancer Won Once More!

Justine was my third partner to die from cancer. The first one I was 31, the second partner I was 55 and this time I am 69. Each one was totally different.

This one I feel very peaceful about. The way Justine was able to go out was very gracious. She went out without pain and at peace. Each step seemed planned by something higher than the both of us. Justine died very graciously.

My first two partners suffered a great deal in their last hours. I made sure Justine had the medicine she was suppose to take at the times she was suppose to take them and gave her her supplements when she could take them.

I feel that I had a great deal to do with the way she left. I know she is so happy to be where she is right now and I am happy that she is there.

Cancer Won Once More!

As you can see by her picture that she looks beautiful. This picture was taken of Justine Shrider just a week before she died. No one believed that she was as sick as she was because she always had that sparkle in her eyes and she always glowed, looking beautiful. Cancer won once more!

I guess you can say cancer has played a big part of my life. I must have been put here on earth to be a caregiver of cancer.

The color pink has been totally ruined for me because when I see pink all I think about is cancer and not the color pink. I do know one thing, that no cure will save anyone’s life unless they actually want to stay here on earth to live.

Most people die from cancer because by the time it’s found it’s too late and they are already so tired of fighting cancer that they are grateful to leave and be out of their misery. Justine fought and went through more than any one human being should.

She put up a good fight, but it was just too much. Cancer won once more!

by: Pama Lyons